Why didn’t anyone tell me?

Until 2022, I lived most of my life believing that I had solid communication skills. I have recently discovered that having an scholarly vocabulary and the bravery to open any type of dialogue are only tiny pieces of effective communication.

Right now I’m personally working on improving my self-awareness and practicing new skills to address my communication skill gaps and related behaviors. My responses to some of my own lived experiences has resulted in behaviors that were recently brought to my attention by my supervisors at work. They compassionately connected me with our professional development department where I engaged in some rigorous self-examination. I learned that the way I was showing up in our collective spaces was a barrier to the psychological safety of the space and negatively impacted the meaningful collaboration efforts of my colleagues.

I’m 55 years old this year and had to quickly dismiss the shame I felt at becoming aware of my harmful behavior which for me was a complete shock. My ‘intent’ in those spaces was to inspire, innovate and ideate solutions….I’m action oriented and passionate. In my world the worst thing one human can do to another is to make one feel lesser and unwelcome. I wanted good things and to be a good person. I somehow summoned the courage I can only attribute to my parents childhood teachings and leaned into the discomfort.

I’m not without gratitude for the guidance from my many mentors. A good life, however you define it, is hard work. On this site I hope to share parts of my ‘good life’, the things I’m amazed that I was fortunate enough to accomplish, acknowledging that other people, failure, and self-examination are an important part of my happiness, and my success.