Two Ideas in Conflict

I said to my husband last week, “This may not be a good time to confront my inner contradictions”. I stole it from the writers behind the TV Series-Madam Secretary. They have this brilliant way of using words…..the ability distill complex ideas that are part of the human experience, into concise, impactful phrases. I pretty consistently confuse my spouse of 22 years with statements that are clearly at odds with other statements I’m famous for spouting. For example, a last minute urgent task that I choose to commit to, goes against my constant claim that I’m setting healthy boundaries with my time. I suffer from ‘human giver syndrome’. I can’t remember where I heard that……probably Brene’ Brown.

On one side of my brain, in my values vault, I hold service to my children at the very top of my list just under……..well maybe nothing……let’s put it at the top. You’ve seen that internet meme with Mrs. Doubtfire vaulting through the restaurant wall to rescue Pierce Brosnan from choking……..”Help is on the way dear”. I simply can’t say no and what’s more, I don’t want to ever have to say no. On the opposite side of my brain is the overwhelm from all the hats I wear…..wife, mother, tax accountant, professional educator, fitness coach, fashion advisor, daughter, sister, friend, researcher, student, community education instructor and grandma.

Someone once said that the ability to hold two ideas in conflict in your mind at the same time is a sign of intelligence……..that person never had to live in the same house with my husband…….he would say it’s the sign of a crazy person. No really……which is it……really?